THE ROBERT W. WHITAKER ARCHIVE

WHEN DUMMIES TRY TO BE "SHREWD" | 2002-01-26

There was a time when a nickel was a good bit of money. Back then you could buy a hot dog, a coke, or a hamburger with a nickel. You cold buy a beer for a nickel and get a free lunch with it.

Back in the days when the nickel was king, there was a small town where Bob Shrewd and Roger Dumb lived. Roger admitted he didn't know a whole lot and Bob said he knew everything.

Bob would often demonstrate how dumb Roger was and how smart he was. He used a nickel to do it.

OLE Bob Shrewd would show Roger Dumb two coins and he would say, "Look here, Roger, you can either have this tiny little dime or this great big shiny nickel."

Poor Dumb Roger always took the big old nickel.

Finally somebody felt sorry for Roger and decided to tell him the truth. "Roger," he said pityingly, "that big old nickel is just worth half as much as that little dime."

Dumb Roger replied, "But if I ever take the dime, Bob Shrewd will stop giving me free nickels."

And that, brothers and sisters, is what a wise old Southerner has in mind when he capitalizes the word Shrewd.