THE ROBERT W. WHITAKER ARCHIVE

I was unfair to Simmons twice. He gave a specific example of what I was talking about and al I noticed was that he had started by saying who we should get after first.

I HATE being unfair. But let me give you a smell of what the other extreme looks like.

Every congressional staffer is desperately sick of congressmen using committee time to flatter each other. You are working a hundred-hour week, you have fourteen balls in the air, and the Member you need to see FINALLY drops by the Committee. He says, "I want to start by saying something to my friend Mr. Bovine, from the third district of Pennsylvania. He and I worked together on the Lice Farmer Subcommittee on legislation ..." and on and on and on.

Or, as we staffers would privately say to each other, "He's a great guy, I've known him for years, and we just spent a wonderful half hour in the Men's Room together."

Translation: We were SICK of that crap.

I apologize a lot. But every time I do somebody belated justice I am not doing what you are here for. Believe me, nothing would be more boring than a seminar in which I was scrupulous about this.

Being fair can get ENDLESS.

I am serious. There is an advantage to having a tired old man here. It cuts the crap.

And believe me, gang, it is crap you do NOT want.