THE WORLD'S CHAMPION PESSIMIST | 1999-10-02
There was once a man who was a very good man. But he was always depressed, and he always looked on the dark side of everything.
The angels in Heaven looked down on him, and they loved his goodness, but they got very, very tired of his pessimism.
Finally this good depressed man died. He was coming to The Pearly Gates!
The angels were joyful, "At long last," they said, "He cannot be pessimistic about anything!"
So he came to the Pearly Gates, and he faced Saint Peter.
And Saint Peter flung wide the Gates, and said, "Now you will spend the rest of eternity here in Heaven!"
The depressed man frowned and replied, "The REST of eternity? You mean I MISSED THE FIRST HALF!?"
I'll bet every one of us knows somebody like that.